


Struck by Fear

by KurooWesBokuto



Series: Fairgameweek2020 [5]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Dorks in Love, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, PTSD, Trauma, Well heavy for me, day 5: Hurt/Comfort, fairgameweek2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23229553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurooWesBokuto/pseuds/KurooWesBokuto
Summary: Inner demons can ruin even the happiest of moments...Clover should know.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi
Series: Fairgameweek2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665496
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	Struck by Fear

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, this is my last 'ON TIME' creation for FairGameWeek2020. My grandmother passed recently and my head just isn't on properly to write/finish days 6 and 7. 
> 
> But, hey, at least I have angsty fair game to make me feel better.
> 
> Hehe...hehe...*Starts crying*
> 
> Anyways enjoy...I actually really like this one.

_ Breathe in. _

_ It’s just a rehearsal. _

_ Breathe out. _

_ There isn’t anything to worry about. _

_ In. _

_ Everything was going perfect so far. _

_ Out. _

_ Plus, Qrow looks adorable in that shirt. _

Little breathing exercises were the only things that kept Clover from crumbling into a panicked mess. When people compare him with Qrow and their roles in their relationship, everyone assumes that Qrow was the one that would easily become anxious. Their guesses were warranted, based on the older man’s past, it’s only natural that people would come to that conclusion. However, Clover knew that with Qrow, the man was as adaptable as rubber. He never had stability until recently, so he never had the chance to be anxious. If he allowed himself to feel the true fear he felt when he spied on Salem, his anxiety would’ve killed him.

No, it was Clover Ebi, the straight laced, militarian, happy go lucky, former leader of the Ace Ops of Atlas that was the worrier. Perfectionist might be a better word for it. With everything the man did, he felt that it had to be perfect in his eyes, or else he’d flip his lid. He’s been trying to work on being more relaxed, with the help of Qrow, Taiyang and the girls, but it was a difficult change. You don’t live to be thirty six with strict habits and routines and easily break them. 

He currently stood outside, leaning against a tree with one arm, while slightly hunched over. He tried to keep his breathing even, but the gravity of what the day meant to him was pulling him further into a panic. Looking up, he could see the large backyard of Tai’s house in Patch decorated to the max. At least Clover could rest easy knowing that Blake, Weiss and Ren had done their jobs splendidly. Everything looked amazing, not a thing out of place for Clover to critique. However, that little voice in his head kept telling him that there was something wrong. 

Clover sadly watched everyone working outside, his panic getting the best of him. He squatted down and fell to sit on his butt, his back leaning against the tree. Qrow and him had invited pretty much anyone that they saw as an ally at some point during the war against Salem. They got a massive response, with everyone able to attend. However, there were some that never got invitations as they were no longer part of this world.

_ You should be one of them. _

That dark and evil voice resonated through his mind. He closed his eyes, that sickly seductive feeling of his guilt started crawling into his stomach. It was true. He shouldn’t be alive right now. He had died, the night Salem invaded Atlas. He had the scar in the middle of his chest to prove it. Callows had taken advantage of both Qrow and Clover’s personal feelings and murdered him. The last thing he remembers was seeing Qrow staring down at him, his beautiful face contorted in a heartbreaking display of shock and depression. He remembers feeling water on his face, before the world going dark.

Next thing he knows, he is gasping for air, sitting up roughly. He remembers the coughing, his throat being the driest it’s ever been. He remembers the confusion he felt when a battered and bruised Qrow tackled him in a tearful hug. He remembers looking around and seeing the vault where the Relic of Creation had been locked away. 

Clover vividly remembers the sight of the general’s lifeless body lying a few feet away from him, the Staff of Creation clenched in his hands. It was a memory that Clover would take with him until his second grave. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the mystery behind his resurrection. 

He had gotten the full story from Marrow and Qrow. They were able to drive Salem away with the help of combining Penny’s new Maiden powers and Ruby’s silver eyes, along with the sudden appearance of Raven, Qrow’s twin sister. Qrow and Robyn, with the help of Marrow and the Happy Huntresses, had busted out of prison and met up with Oscar in Mantle. Callows had gotten cocky after killing Clover that he got reckless and that allowed for Marrow to freeze the serial killer in order for Qrow to decapitate the maniac. After convincing her that it was for the best, Winter provided escort for Oscar, Penny and Qrow to the vault where a few screaming matches and physical altercations took place, before James finally surrendered, seeing that Salem was being driven back, which meant that he had jumped to the worst conclusions. He tried to apologize for all of the lives that were lost because of his incompetence as a leader, which Penny disagreed with. He had a big heart, but he just thought a lot more with his head. Ironwood pleaded for Penny to unlock the vault in order for him to right his wrong, which the maiden did. Before anyone could stop him, James Ironwood made the ultimate sacrifice by giving his life to bring back a life lost too soon. Before he died, he apparently told Qrow that he was glad that he could be the one to provide the route in which his closest friend could live his happiest life.

While Clover was thankful for his second chance, that gratitude was always squashed when he thought of the price. James was one of Clover’s most trusted allies, close to an older brother figure even. With him gone, life seemed to lack meaning. He didn’t have a leader he trusted to set him down a path. Clover may come across as a well adjusted person, but he needed direction and a guideline, or else he’d have no idea how to handle situations. 

Now, here he was, alone in the backyard of his future brother-in-law’s house, not having any clue on what he was doing anymore. He didn’t have the military anymore, the trauma of dying being too much to continue that path. He didn’t have his team anymore, as the only one to make it out of the invasion alive was Marrow. He didn’t even have his home anymore. Atlas had been lowered, but the negativity from the invasion had caused even more Grimm to swarm, leading to a mass evacuation. 

What was he doing, preparing for his wedding and adding even more stress to his life?

_ This is a mistake...James is gone because you weren’t strong enough...marrying Qrow won’t bring him back...you’re just throwing yourself at another person...hoping they can bring a bit more control into your sad...hopeless...existence.  _

The voice, who was starting to sound more and more like himself started to get louder. His head was throbbing, his throat closing and his breathing started to become more shallow. He knew he was breathing but his body didn’t think he was. He lost his balance, collapsing to his knees, his hand clutching his chest, feeling phantom pains from his scar.

“Cloves! C’mon breathe with me.” A gruff and concerned voice sounded from his right as lean arms wrapped around his waist. He looked over and saw the crimson pools that he always found himself lost in looking at Clover with wide worry. He felt Qrow grab his hand away from his chest and bring it to his own. “Match my heart rate.” 

He heard his fiance start to count out loud, breathing in with him and then releasing the air. It took a few minutes, but Clover found himself breathing normal, his chest releasing the tension and his throat opening up again. He felt tears welling up in his eyes as he looked at Qrow with guilty eyes, leaning his head against the man’s shoulders. “I’m sorry.” He sobbed.

Qrow could only pull Clover closer, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck. He just sat there, letting the man he loved cry into his shoulder. It wasn’t rare for Qrow to witness this side to Clover, especially after being revived from being dead. It was understandable that the experience would be traumatic, even though it had been over two years ago. Qrow knew all about long lasting trauma. 

He ran a hand over the back of Clover’s head, his heart aching for him. He wished that he could take away all of the pain Clover was feeling, but he knew that was impossible. Love, understanding and support were the only things Qrow could provide for him.

Clover finally lifted his head, sniffling. “S-Sorry.” He croaked. 

Qrow gave a sad smile, lifting his hand to use his finger to wipe the residual tears from Clover’s face. He then opened his hand, gently caressing the side. “Don’t apologize for your emotions.” He stated.

“B-But I shouldn’t be he-...”

“If you tell me that James should be here instead of you I will slap you.” Qrow threatened, “He made the choice to give his life to you.” He knew all about Clover’s guilt behind James’ death. He of course felt guilty as well. There wasn’t a day that went by where Qrow thought about what he could’ve done differently in order to get the same outcome but with James alive on the other side. But, what Qrow has learned over the years with traveling with Ruby and her friends was that things happen for a reason. There wasn’t ever gonna be a way where everything was going to be great. War meant lives were gonna be lost. Qrow actually felt like it was a blessing that James was able to die on his own terms, redeeming himself even. 

“I just don’t know how to live without him.” Clover whispered, his body curling up against the man. “I always had him just a scroll message away in case I needed something.” He felt the tears coming up again. “I still have his number you know.” Clover revealed. And Qrow did know. There were a few times over the past two years that he’d find Clover playing old voice mails or videos of the General speaking and crying.

“Clover, it’s in the past. We can’t change it.” Qrow told him, earnestly. He grabbed Clover by both sides of his head, staring directly into his eyes. “But what you  _ can  _ do is live on.” Qrow grabbed Clover’s hand and placed it on his chest, right over his heart. “James lives on with those who cared for him. He’s always gonna be there.”

Clover smiled, the feeling not quite reaching his eyes. “When did we switch places in this relationship?” He asked.

Qrow shrugged, surging forward to snag a quick peck against Clover’s lips. “I don’t know, but I like being the sappy one sometimes.”

“I still don’t get why you wanna marry me. I’m too broken to be loved.” Clover sighed.

His fiance let out a small scoff, knocking his head lightly against Clover’s. Their foreheads remained together with Qrow staring intensely into Clover’s wide but sad eyes. “You didn’t let me talk about myself like that during our first mission. I’m not gonna let you talk about yourself now.” He pressed his lips against his nose in a light kiss. “Besides, if you’re broken, then call me the maintenance man.” He joked.

Clover found himself chuckling. There was something about Qrow that just made him feel better. He knew the man was right. About everything. There was no need to plague himself with thoughts of ‘What if?’ There wasn’t any way of fixing what had already been done.

“I love you.” Clover said.

Qrow smiled, grabbing Clover’s hand and entwined their fingers together. “I love you too, Cloves.”

The sun had peeked through the trees and like a spotlight, had coated the pair in a halo of sunlight. The two didn’t care, the only things in the world that mattered at that moment were each other. Any stranger who would see them would see two people haunted by their pasts. They’d see two people too broken to provide a healthy relationship with the other.

But that broken pair had found each other, through all the trials and tribulations life threw at them. You can call it luck or fate or something else, it was irrelevant. 

The soon to be Qrow and Clover Branwen-Ebi were irrevocably in love with each other, willing to be there for each other for whatever the rest of their lives had in store.


End file.
